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One of the things I love about the internet Dear Reader,  is that it is the great equalizer.  It is a bastion of free speech where the least of us can take on a large organization if their gripe is sufficient to outrage us.  Unfettered by money,  power or even political correctness.  I mention this Dear Reader for there has been a war raging since July 4th.  No I speak not of the Palestinians and Israelis blowing each other up.  No I speak of a war considerably more amusing.  The war between 4chan and Tumblr.  You see Dear Reader,  much unbeknownst to me, it seems that Tumbler over the years have become a refuge for militant feminists, preferred pronoun advocates, cutters and just about any other angst ridden female with a mental problem, all dedicated to raving hysterically about  CIS or us lay people straight mail privilege. 

Now for those of you not in the know.  4chan,  is home to /b or as they call themselves btards also home to the merry pranksters Anonymous.  It is know as quite literally one of the most horrible places on the internet where their idea of a joke is getting you to click on a picture of someone eating someone else’s dismembered genitalia.  It is also as you might expect a refuge of misogyny and just about everything else the aforementioned groups hate.  Now as you know Feminists and other PC crusaders are not exactly known for their tolerance for free speech, and not exactly thinking things though.  Thus when one of them became aware of such a vile place like the btards.  They set about banishing it though petitions and seething hate filled posts which spawned other seething hate filled posts about exactly what kind of misogynistic shitlords they all are and someone somewhere ought to make a law banishing them off the internet.  It is indeed obvious these females indeed did not get spanked enough when they were younger and if you want to find out,  well I will tell you the story Dear Reader during the Spanking Updates of the week!

There is a reason Dear Reader,  these guys (and I am sure some gals) are known as the Internet Hate Machine.  While there is some faction dedicated social justice.  For the most part they are master trolls.  To incur their wrath is akin to sticking your hand in a hive of angry bees.  It is simply not advised no matter what pronoun you want to be addressed with.  But Angry young and overly dramatic females will be just that,  Angry young overly dramatic females.  At least until they get a bare bottom spanking or two.  Like our newest addition to our hobby porn starlet Christie Stevens who is re-enacting a very hard spanking she got from her mother on Spanked Sweeties or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass

Apparently the only people who have nothing to do on July 4th are Feminists and btards.  So on that day our merry pranksters conducted a raid on Tumblr.  You see,  Tumblr controls its content with hash tags much like twitter so like minded morons can reblog the same drivel.  Thus they invaded the tags with what I later found out to be “trigger” content.  Triggers according to our special snowflakes are pictures that remind you of whatever imaginary trauma that they might have suffered.  Now,  I do have sympathy for those truly a victim of a crime.  But you have to understand you have not a small community of Feminists claiming they have PTSD because some privileged white male objectified and raped them by looking at them.  Others felt survivor’s guilt because a bunch of construction workers whistled at their friend and not themselves.  It is indeed a den of hilarity.  Its almost better than if these girls were brought outside in front of their houses like Zille Defoe and spanked in front of their Neighbors.  From Northern Spanking

Well after defiling the feminist’s precious tags with vile and misogynistic images,  apparently triggering all of them into some hysteria they then moved on to photo-shopping  all of their selfies onto rape porn.  Which once again caused an outcry of seething man hate.  Prompting one girl to foolishly post a video about how outraged she indeed was.  Being once again the Internet Hate Machine,  they found out who she was and ordered vast amounts of pizza’s to her home.  There were blog posts asunder decrying our btards causing permanent damage to their fragile self images apparently even causing one overly dramatic female to commit suicide.  While this is of course not funny,  it was when police were called about the non existent dead girl by people equally delirious females.  Prompting the police to do absolutely nothing and further reinforcing the fact that any straight male is in fact somehow a rapist.  Mind you Dear Reader,  although I read about this a couple of days later while bored at work.  This was turning out to be one of the most amusing internet wars ever to be.  Meanwhile since it is summer it’s a perfect time for yet another outdoor paddling of young Monica and her friend Alyssa for smoking.  From Real Spanking or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking pass

To make matters worse for themselves Dear Reader,  the Feminists and other females with mental issues then decided that it would be wise to bring the battle to their tormentors.  Posting among other things on the /b boards what horrible people they really are.  Not of course realizing that this was akin to telling a serial killer he was a bad person for jaywalking.  By weeks end,  they had a petition on Whitehouse.org  with 15,000 signatures asking that Tumblr users be declared “land whales with no intrinsic value”  Meanwhile we have Samantha Woodley getting her own version of a very painful bare bottom spanking.  From Firm Hand Spanking

Finally for tonight,  while the war still wages on.  The moral of the story is not that my beloved btards are some hero!  No the moral of the story is don’t assume the internet works like real life where peer pressure and the PC police have some sway.  Because they don’t.  We are still in the very wild west era of our wonderful medium.  While it is indeed a kind mistress when used incorrectly one can be brutally punished.  Almost as bad as Christie Cutie is getting it on Good Spanking


Graduation Spanking

News of Your Humble Narrator’s demise is of course greatly exaggerated Dear Reader.  While it is indeed true I have not updated in some weeks,  It is unfortunate that realities have kept me from you for too long.  No,  I was not glued to the world cup.  No, I was not harassed by the NSA.  Actually the reasons for my absence were rather mundane.  I had a death in the family and I spent a week running around to various “graduations”  for a number of my kin.  Now I put graduation in quotes Dear Reader for they really didn’t graduate from anything.  You see when I was a whopping lad and completed 8th grade we got a kick in the ass and the instructions never to come back.  In this day and age of our precious snowflakes we must in fact make a big deal about everything. 

The fact is that graduating grammar school is not that big of an accomplishment.  The law says you have to be there, at least until you are 16.  So it is really no different than ….. say ……  getting out of prison.  I am told it is indeed to celebrate their graduation into young adult hood despite our society insisting on treating anyone under the age of 30 as “children”.  But none the less I as a parent, uncle, friend have the obligation to sit though such nonsense.  But be rest assured Dear Reader,  any young woman graduating 8th grade, high school or college is never ever to old to be spanked on the Spanking Updates of the week!

The one thing that struck me Dear Reader, is just how out of touch our educational system is with reality.  Sure boosting self esteem is good.  But sometimes its just a little inappropriate.  For example,  during one of the awards ceremony someone had the bright idea to have the one girl with a speech impediment act as MC.  While it might have indeed had the intended effect on her,  it also invited held back snickering as she called the other child’s names sounding like a little Elmer Fudd.  What our educators really don’t realize is that some people are simply not suited for certain roles.  For example would you take this lovely and petite Persephone Adams who stands 5 foot nothing and weighs 90 pounds soaking wet on the basketball team?  Of course not!  But with each of our disadvantages come advantages.  For instance with a tight little bottom and her slight frame she is perfect for an OTK Spanking by none other than Clare Fonda.  From Spanked Sweeties or the better valued 4 site Clare Fonda Pass

In addition to pronouncing everybody’s name to sound like Wascally Wabbit,  For an hour we sat while giving out awards for everything.  They had an award for “exceptional academic performance in gym”.  GYM!!!   Can someone please explain to me how one differentiates him or herself playing dodgeball?  Did they write a year long thesis on the nuances of the game of badminton?  or even Soccer where here in the US is the only time its played.  HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET AN AWARD IN GYM!  Its like getting an award getting spanked (ok guilty as charged) when all you have to do is lie there getting your ass beat and wailing in pain like the lovely porn star Casey Calvert is doing on Triple A Spanking

As for the death in the family,  It was unfortunately my uncle.  While he probably wouldn’t appreciate being memorialized on a spanking site.  He was one of the few in the family who knew what I do for a hobby (mainly because my father and aunt have a big mouth).  And he was fine with it.  He was a monster of a man who even at 91 could instill the fear of himself to myself and my much older cousins.  He also spent his life running into structures that were on fire and had the most massive train set that would not only delight a young brushstrokes but also my offspring.  Not of course to bring you down Dear Reader,  The man kicked cancer’s ass 3 times, survived the streets of little Italy during the depression and was generally one of the most interesting people I ever met.  He lived a good and long life and it was his time.  He died without pain nor suffering and went out with style and dignity.  Something that cannot be said for young Roxie and Autumn getting a bare bottom spanking.  From Real Spanking Institute or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass

So to get back to my rant,  being in my adopted rural New England it shouldn’t surprise you that the community that I live in is not the most diverse place in the world. I bring this up because of yet another educational stupidity that went on during one of the graduations I attended.  Now as Your humble Narrator was sitting there listening to them giving out awards for children who picked their nose the least and everything else under the sun.  Someone, someplace thought it would be wise to give an award for Remedial Reading.  Now typically (at least when I was young) one does not celebrate the fact one is in remedial reading.  Let alone excelling at it since it is more akin to being diagnosed with allergies and beating all the kids in Special Olympics.   But, hey  they have to make every snowflake feel special.  Unfortunately they really didn’t think about the optics for when they announced the award.  You see Dear Reader the 90+ degree gymnasium of full at, sweating and overly proud parents (including myself) looking over the sea of Lilly white children getting awards for Gym.  There was one speck of diversity on the 200+ kids.  Just one.  Who do you think stood up to receive such an honorable mention?  As I hung my head in shame both because of the educator’s zeal to showcase diversity and the crowd’s complete blindness to the insult that had been hurled.  They called Janiqua to give a speech which to put it nicely was well,  nice, uplifting and somewhat unintelligible using “ I BE” and “YO” lots of times.  Now I get it Dear Reader,  I really do.  Your Humble Narrator likes diversity.  But one cannot ignore that there is indeed a perceived and actual education gap in this country between African Americans and everyone else.  This is due to lots of factors, including but not limited to,  Past racism and socio-economic factors.  But when one is so eager to promote their diversity to the expense of re-enforcing our already entrenched bias.  Perhaps,  just perhaps one should re-examine such things.  Meanwhile of course our Able Amsterdam Authoritarian is a equal opportunity Spanker on Spanked in Uniform

In other news,  5 male judges decided that not only do corporations have the right to spend gobs of money to express their “speech” but they can also apparently have a religion too.  One that specifically says women shouldn’t have the option of not getting pregnant since it is someplace in the bible.  Somehow the CEO’s of the these country seem to have missed the whole camel pass through eye of needle thing when dealing with rich people.  So under that logic one would think if someone is so religious they object to women having control over their bodies,  they should also be barred from receiving any sort of profit from such company.  Hell the bible says what the bible says.  But give it time Dear Reader,  sooner or later they will make it legal to spank women like Amelia Jane Rutherford since its in the bible as well.  From Sound Punishment

Finally for tonight we have yet another example of Amelia Jane Rutherford getting spanked.  This time with a paddle and some really type jeans.  From Firm Hand Spanking


World Cup Spanking

Yes Dear Reader,  today is the start of the World Cup.  This is the event anticipated by most of the world every 4 years while we Americans wonder what is all the hubbub is about a game played here primarily by 9 year olds and high school girls.  For the next month or so our liberal media will insinuate that there is something wrong with us because most of us don’t particularly care that the latest match between Guyana and the Principality of Liechtenstein ended in a thrilling 0-0 tie after 3 hours of play and numerous grown men writhing around on the turf in pain when a member of the opposing team brushes them accidently.  We once again will roll our eyes, sigh a deep sigh and watch news coverage of whatever mass shooting happens to be going on that week. 

But there was a teensy weensy bit of controversy here in the US, which appears to be the only thing mildly interesting about soccer here in the states.  The US coach who is strangely German stated that the US has no chance in the World Cup.  Of course this infuriated US Soccer fans (all 73 of them) since we are somehow convinced that we are best in the world….  at everything.  Including as I declare today!  in Spanking wayward girls as we see on the spanking updates of the week!

Since my Dear Friend Cakeboy is inevitably watching the world cup,  mainly because the English love soccer and standing in line for things.  It is unlikely he will in fact see this,  which means this is a perfect time to talk about him.  This week he has a newcomer to the spanking world over his knee.  Dear Reader meet the young vibrant and in pain, Lily Swan.  Now while I am not complaining,  I do find it odd he chose to doll her up in a cheerleading outfit for her first spanking.  You see,  while I haven’t seen many soccer matches (or stayed awake though even less of them).  I have noticed unlike the superior American sport by the same name.  They tend to lack the all important cheerleader.  Perhaps it is indeed hard to cheer for a 2 hour match where nothing happens.  Perhaps they fear that by the end of the match all the focus will be on pretty girls with short dresses and white undies.  Perhaps {gasp} they might fear that the bored fans will eventually entertain themselves by spanking the girls!  From Triple A Spanking

You know Dear Reader,  If the rest of the world wants to make Americans care about soccer they should probably change the rules.  I would suggest a couple of ideas.  First,  make it so people actually get hurt.  No I am not talking about the girly men who writhe in agony holding their knee when the ball harmlessly hits them in the back of the head.  Maybe give them helmets and sticks to hit each other with.  Should that not be practical perhaps one should incorporate guns into the game.  Nothing excites us like firearms.  Maybe give the goalie a AK-47 to shoot the ball instead of using his hands.  Finally the whole card thing confuses us.  Who gives a shit about the color of cards?  Why not throw a kerchief at them like we do in American Football and then berate them publically for what they did wrong.  Even better have a female stand in for each player and give her a very public spanking as our Dear Friend the Cameraman is giving to the lovely fetish model Mia Vallis on My Spanking Roommate or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass

This World Cup is reportedly the most expensive ever much to the people of Brazil’s dislike.  Apparently it cost 13 billion dollars which seems to Your Humble Narrator, an awful lot to spend when the same game could be played with a 5$ inflatable ball and any high school’s soccer field.  In fact one could purchase the LA Clippers 5 1/2 times and still make racist remarks.  Which of course begs the question why Donald Sterling simply didn’t put V. Stiviano over his knee when she dared bring black people to his basketball game.  Perhaps he could take some lessons from our friend the Portly punisher with Amelia Jane Rutherford over his knee.  From Sound Punishment.

I am not entirely sure this week If Angel,  one of my favorite spankee’s was naughty or judging from these pictures of the spanking session if my Dear Friend the Able Amsterdam Authoritarian was experimenting with psychedelics and mistakenly spanked her.  While both are more than adequate reasons to bare her lovely bottom,  he is a bit old to be taking mind altering drugs.  Even if he lives in Amsterdam.  From Real Life Spanking

You know Dear Reader,  sometimes I love to be wrong.  I really do.  As you might know,  Firm Hand Spanking is rolling out its new crop of girls.  As you also might know if you have been reading this blog for any length of time.  I kinda had a problem with some of their new girls since in my opinion they were putting style of substance.  Sure the girls were gorgeous but in my opinion,  spankings should in fact hurt. Furthermore if you are going to hire a model no matter how gorgeous she should be prepared not to be able to sit down for some time. When Amber Davis debut some weeks ago.  She was of course cute as a button,  but mistakenly Your Humble Narrator passed over her assuming once again the spanking she would receive would be lame.  How wrong I was.  First of all,  Stacy Stockton while not being much of a spankee,  can indeed dish out one hell of a spanking for a petite female.  Second of all Amber Davis can indeed take one hell of a spanking.  Couple that with the girl being as cute as one can possibly get,  you have a winner.  My hats off to Sabrina who told me about this a number of weeks ago.   

Finally for tonight,  I remember High School Gym.  It sucked.  In fact it royally sucked.  I wonder if the psychological damage one does in gym far outweighs the stigma of being fat.  They even made us play soccer!  Now I indeed have plenty of stories about having this less than useless class.  One includes me getting knocked out cold by a girl when we were both going back to return a serve in volley ball (she caught me under the chin by mistake).  This story also includes a young brushstrokes telling the coach berating me over the incident a number of vile and horrible things that I am sure if he could would paddle me as a punishment.  But alas I am a child of the 70’s and after threating to sue the vice principle and the minimum wage teacher such things were amended.  But not of course with Mr M.  Instead he has both lovely Monica and Lila Night in his office for one hell of a paddling.  From Real Spanking Institute or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass


Why Didn’t Marsha Get a Spanking

In sad news this week, Ann B. Davis died this week.  Ann as you might already know was better known as Alice from the Brady Bunch and probably the only woman I have fantasied in the role of a spanker.  You see week after week you Humble Narrator would hope,  just once that Alice would just get fed up one day and drag Marsha over her knee for a good old fashion bare bottom spanking.  In fact why indeed stop there?  Jan while not attractive as her sister probably could use one and I always hated Bobby.  Hell even Florence Henderson could have benefitted from a bare bottom beating.  As you can guess by now my fantasies were never in fact fulfilled since the Brady’s were “progressive” even back then.

Well I wish Alice well in her trip to the after life.  She shall be missed.  But we now must concern ourselves with more earthly matters.  Like the Spanking Updates of the week!

Ok,  So the other day I realized I had not heard from my friend “the Mystery Spanker” in some time.  Had a giant pile of New Jersey garbage entombed him in a tragic accident?  Had he finally met his end in the crime ridden city of Camden?  Did Chris Christie himself accidently sit upon him?  No Dear Reader,  none of these are particularly true.  In fact he traveled to meet his friend,  the other Mystery Spanker in the great state of Pennsyltucky.   Thankfully he resides in the eastern side of the state which is considerably more civilized.  Unless of course you hire a obnoxious model like Alexandra Adair.  She throws herself into her work with the enthusiasm I generally have for HR meetings.  But of course unlike I,  That behavior is unacceptable and she learns the consequences of her behavior resulting in a bright red bottom.  From Bun Beating Fun

Meanwhile,  some guy named Adrian Mutu who plays this strange and marginalized sport called soccer apparently uploaded a video of him getting spanked with a spoon.  Quite surprising since we all know how painful a spanking is with a wooden spoon and generally soccer players fall down and writhe in agony when someone comes within a few feet of them.  Well despite such nonsense he apparently played for some strange place called Chelsea which is why we are brining you Ela Darling getting her very bare and mesmerizing bottom spanked by the famous spanker of the same name.  From Good Spanking 

Speaking of HR Dear Reader,  Your Humble Narrator got himself in trouble again this week at his place of employment. Apparently calling into a HR meeting late(mind you I have nothing to do with HR) is a grave offence.  Now generally other than the obligatory “don’t harass women” and other than Mississippi “perhaps you shouldn’t treat minorities like sub-humans”   these types of meetings are generally optional.  Except apparently here.  So the powers that be,  whom failed to recognize that such threats didn’t work in High School, let alone in the professional environment.  Put a “letter” in my “permanent record” documenting my grave offence. Needless to say I will be seeking other employment soon.  Though I am somewhat curious if they threaten me with a spanking.  Which indecently is exactly what the lovely Susan James is getting on Sound Punishments

You know Dear Reader, when you are getting old when you listen to the radio only to hear one of your teen idols just turned 50 and is releasing a new album.  I speak of course the punk and alternative band in the great 80’s called Hüsker Dü and their legendary front man Bold Mould.  After 2 decades of roaming in the wilderness he is once again returning to his roots and in punk style being generally pissed off about everything.  But what I indeed found out as I got older,  being pissed off in middle age is about stupid companies, bosses and the fact you pay more taxes than your CEO, As opposed to well….  What aren’t you pissed off about when you are young.  None the less one of the few things young ladies can indeed get justifiably pissed off about is getting spanked by their Roommate. Even if they spank each other.  From My Spanking Roommate or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass

A good belting used to be a useful and commonplace punishment for our girls.  Particularly when the undesirable alternative is to pulling down the pants of a close relative to deliver a bare bottom spanking.  But as my progressive brothers and sisters have demanded,  belting since it tends to leave marks on the buttocks is now no longer acceptable.  In fact some guy managed to kill his girlfriend by “spanking” her with a belt.  Now I and perhaps you would beg to differ because what is classically considered a spanking generally doesn’t kill a person.  But in our politically correct age.  Feminists define rape as some poorly mannered male whistling at them and beating someone to death is of course a spanking.  Neither which are true.  But belts do leave marks even when applied properly over the pants as lovely Monica finds out.  From Real Spanking or the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass

So Your Humble Narrator was having a spirited debate with the folk from Firm Hand Spanking.  They of course took exception to my depiction of a rather weak spanking for their new girls.  A point I disagree with but,  I respectfully acknowledge that they have every right to complain about.  One of the points they did bring up is that they they shoot multiple shoots,  and the first or second spanking is necessarily light since endurance is everything.  Another issue I disagree with but I am also cognizant of the fact that our famed spanking houses must indeed maximize their time.  The issue today that I have,  is not their weak spanking but in fact not capturing the true spanking that Stacy Stockton gets.    After downloading the pictures I was going to point out that her bottom was not in fact red and she seems to be smiling throughout this whole ordeal.  Something I hope you might agree defeats the whole purpose of a spanking.  But on a whim I took the time to download the video.  To tell you the truth Dear Reader,  while not to the level of tears,  it’s a pretty good spanking.  Perhaps they should do the photo shoots after the spanking is done.  They sell themselves short.  At least in this particular case. 


Another Memorial Day Spanking

Yes Dear Reader, here in the states Memorial Day was once again celebrated last weekend.  This of course is when we American’s honor those living or dead who served in our military to defend our right to make them wait 100+ days for basic health care.  We do this of course by parading fire trucks down main street, eating burnt slabs of animal flesh and if available shooting our guns in the air.  Yes there is nothing more American than memorial day.  Unless you count the 4th of July where we substitute guns for explosives. 

In any case I would like to thank all of our spanko veterans for their service and the defense of our ungrateful lot.  Your Humble narrator will do that the only way he can.  With the Spanking Updates of the week!

So we begin today with the lovely Lilly Banks getting spanked in a hot pair of short shorts.  Now normally being a porn star,  she is bent over but typically not wearing pants.  So this spanking must be a refreshing change if someone wasn’t painfully beating her ass.  From Spanking Sorority Girls or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass

So with 5 million + people who now have access to health care that they never had before (lest they go bankrupt).  Somehow our republican friends seem to continue to insist that it has somehow failed.  Yet somehow the VA cannot manage to keep their hospitals clean.  A concept that was generally proven sometime in the 17th century.  But then again since republicans don’t believe in evolution, global warming and the roundness of the earth.  What is another 300 year old scientific fact to ignore.  Hell one can cure the common cold with a good hard spanking.  Too bad for Ten Amorette she is the study subject.  From Northern Spanking

You know Dear Reader,  as fans of our little hobby we must indeed be fearful of technology.  Where one in the 1950’s could spank his secretary for a typo that kind of punishment in this age seems a bit extreme.  Google of course made their debut of driverless cars.  Within 10 years or so I say we will be all zipping around in little automobiles controlled by a computer.  But think Dear Reader.  Then where will we be.  Of all the things a female may do wrong probably 80% has something to do with mechanized transportation which will no longer be available as an excuse to spank our females.  Well,  there are always the idiot lights females tend to ignore,  which is the exact reason Christa has her bottom bared this week on Real Life Spanking.

Although I have been told that at least 7 other spankings would be Irelynn Logeen last red bottom.  She continues to pop up over the knee of someone somewhere over the past couple of years. Well I for one is not complaining.  From Triple A Spanking.

Well Dear Reader,  school is coming to an end this year.  Thus there will probably not be many more school paddlings on Real Spanking.  But as we all know when the weather gets warmer girls do tend to wear inappropriate clothing.  As the pink short shorts on Alyssa can attest to.  Also on the better valued 8 site Real Spanking Pass


Chloe Amour Gets her First Spanking and Kami Robertson’s bottom is Sore

I must apologize Dear Reader for my continued absence these past two weeks.  Unfortunately something came up that needed my full attention and needed to be dealt with.  Once again I beg your forgiveness for not giving you the spanking you both crave and deserve.  But I am back and there is much to do this week Dear Reader so let us dispense with the niceties and get back to important things like spanking women on the spanking updates of the week!

We begin tonight with a new girl to add to our little hobby.  Dear Reader meet 23 year old Chloe Amour.  When not sharing her spanking experiences with us she is also a bonafide porn star which gives us any number of reasons to spank her for all the naughty things she has done.  Sadly with time, the pain she felt over her mothers knee has dimmed and now experiences it once again on Spanked Sweeties or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass

No one ever likes a thief Dear Reader.  Unfortunately in our society the really big thieves (like CEO’s) get away with it.  While those engaging in petty theft are the ones that end up in jail.  Though,  As you might already know there are alternatives to such harsh measures.  Particularly when your shoplifter is pretty little Kami Robertson who would not in fact benefit from something as barbaric as incarceration.  If only there was a alternative punishment one could give that would deter her for such antics.  From Northern Spanking

Old People and Technology do not mix Dear Reader.  Case in point,  take your own Humble Narrator’s Father.  You see aside from insisting on continuing to pay for AOL and being genuinely upset when his I-Pad didn’t come with a keyboard.n  Wi-Fi it seems is the absolute limit of his understanding of computers.  You see his ISP advertised “free Wi-Fi” and being that hotspots are something that a grill produces.  He could not comprehend the fact this free Wi-Fi did not in fact extend to his house.  After much debate, and showing him wireless internet does not magically appear out of thin air.  I went out and purchased him a router and set it up complete with a password which he promptly lost.  So over the weekend I once again made the trek to his house to reset up everything this time without a password.  Which brings us to this story.  While this might be a security fopaux, considering he will happily give his social security number out to any person who calls to verify it.  I see little downside.  The worst I can expect is unscrupulous young ladies like young Monique here stealing bandwidth from him to do what young ladies do on the internet.  Thankfully we have the Able Amsterdam Authoritarian who discourages such behavior with a sore bottom on Real Life Spanking

Christie Cutie has a problem I can sympathize with.  It seems that she has an issue with folding the laundry after doing it.   Now I am not sure about you Dear Reader but wrinkled clothes do not appear in my top 10 problems to take care of well…..  ever.   But as I can admit,  my world view is not necessarily shared with the majority of people no matter how silly something might be.  Fortunately no one has the desire to spank me over it which it seems quite the opposite for poor Christie on Good Spanking

Finally for today,  the new Godzilla movie is out!  Unfortunately he will not be destroying Tokyo,  nor will Brian Cranston be dealing meth to it. None the less Japanese parents all over the country feel it prudent to spank their young daughters just in case Mothra decides to make an surprise entrance.  From Handspanking.


Disingenuous Spanking

So the news of today is that being a owner of an NBA team and dating someone of mixed race is probably not the best life choice for a bigot.  Yes,  if you haven’t heard Donald Sterling,  owner of the LA Clippers was caught telling his girlfriend of Mexican and African American heritage not to bring black people to the games with her.  Something I would argue is rather self defeating since something like 80% of the players are of color.  I mean you would think if you were a billionaire bigot you might think perhaps investing in perhaps a lacrosse team or maybe sponsoring a world class badminton player might perhaps be a better choice.  Then again I am of the impression once you get past 500 million net worth somehow your brains leak out. 

In other disingenuous news anti-spanking activists are up in arms over a viral video posted of a mother “spanking” her 12 year old daughter in some third world country for posting pictures of herself in a bikini to Facebook attracting salacious remarks of boys her age.  Typically I would say good for her,  except since calling it a spanking is as usual disingenuous.  You see,  typically spankings are given on the bottom where any major damage can be avoided as we as human beings tend not to have anything important there.  Beating a child with a belt on her arms, legs, torso, and head is generally considered in my book a beating.  Not a controlled spanking.  But as we all know my liberal brethren are experts in redefining things that are not but somehow decide they must make illegal. 

Which of course brings me to why I am here today.  Much like being a bigot,  spanking is not indeed illegal despite others continuing to insist that it is.  Nor is beating someone a spanking.  Which of course we have all come to see today on the Spanking Updates of the week. 
Now one of the things my liberal brethren love to try to redefine is the issue of sexual assault.  This is mainly because the “legitimate rape” republicans have driven all the feminists to our side!  But like the conservative crazies we have our wacko’s as well, in not a small number of bitter angry females with women studies degrees who think any kind of penetration is some how demeaning to females despite nature building us this way.  In fact today our president once again released a plan to reduce sexual assault on campus which in and of itself is a noble deed unless of course we insist calling sexual assault anything a alleged victim wants to call it.  You see Dear Reader,  I am a believer in our justice system and being innocent until proven guilty.  Something our women studies majors really really hate.  If you are assaulted sexually or otherwise your attacker should indeed be prosecuted to the full extent of the law because unlike bigotry and spanking,  assault and rape is kinda against the law.  However our founding fathers erected barriers to ensure to the highest degree that an innocent man (or woman) not be falsely convicted which creates the need for a little more evidence than “I said he did it”.  Something again women’s studies majors really really hate.  Which is why I propose anyone such as young Poppy here choosing to  major in women’s studies in the first place should be firmly and harshly spanked.  From Spanking Sorority Girl or the better valued 5 site Clare Fonda Pass

Perhaps, unfortunately Dear Reader, because of my education and life experiences I know just a little bit about math,  the law and statistics.  Thus I was surprised today once again my liberal brethren once again quoted the very wrong statistic of one in 5 females in college get sexually assaulted.  This of course changed from one in five get raped from a year ago since a) rape generally needs some sort of penetration and b) since republicans like rape so much they looked into it and realized much to their chagrin not everyone was getting raped all the time.   So they have changed it to “Sexual Assault”.  The problem I have with this is once again they tend to expand the definition.  Generally as the law works,  sexual assault is non consensual sexual acts which may or may not include spanking a grown women on the bare behind depending on if you have a safe word or how she feels about it afterward.  Unless of course she is in school or completely screws up at work (providing a overbearing HR Manager isn’t in the general vicinity).  Much like our new spankee Anastasia on Sound Punishment.   

Now Dear Reader,  I do not wish to make light of any kind of crime.  But I do wish to point out to you the difference between a crime and someone simply being offended.  Take for example the “victim”  that one of the news reports brought forth.  While not wanting to be identified by name (understandably).  She told her tale of woe when in high school (not college as the report was detailing) that she was sexually assaulted in high school after she “withdrew her consent”.  Now any guy will attest to who has been drinking with a high school female.  Things more than likely got hot and heavy and perhaps you got a little ahead of the female you were wooing.  Typically these type of encounters are usually ended by a whining immature male in a desperate attempt at relieving his blue balls.  Despite our women studies majors this is generally not considered “assault”.  If it was,  one should go to the police and file a complaint.  If of course you fail to do this (as the female in question inevitably did), You are not a victim, no laws were broken in the eyes of the courts.  You are an accuser with nothing to back your version of events up.   Fortunately for our society one cannot be incarcerated on the mere accusation of guilt since it will ultimately resolve into you spending a significant portion of your lifetime in jail and in the case of Spanked In Uniform,  Daily Spankings. 

The point of all this Dear Reader, is not to make light of these situations but not to cheapen them and to bring them into perspective.  Bigotry while I find rather abhorrent and down right stupid.  Is not the last time I checked, illegal.  You can choose not to frequent someone’s business because of their personal beliefs.  You can choose not to do business with them.  But you cannot (at least in this country) force them to sell assets, or incarcerate them despite what some people think.  Sexual Assault is a serious problem for any who experience it.  But Sexual Assault must indeed be proven in a court of law, not mind you,  because some creepy guy followed you home from a party or tried to kiss you.  If you do not bring it to a court of law,  I am not saying you weren’t assaulted.  But instead there is no proof of your statement.  Thus the most the rest of us can glean out of the encounter is that it is your perception that you were assaulted.  Beating someone is not spanking.  So Please stop calling it that.  If you need an example of what spanking is,  look only to our blonde stunner Tara Somerville who finds herself once again with her bottom bared on Firm Hand Spanking